Parents often have a good intuition when something is not quite right with their child. When trying to determine if your child has an eating disorder, it is important to look at several different symptom areas including weight, food intake, appearance, and other related behaviors.
Many parents already know to be concerned if a child has started to appear very thin or underweight. What parents may not know is that it is also concerning if a child is still normal weight but has lost a significant amount of weight quickly. Many young women with eating disorders are actually at normal weight or above, especially if they are binge eating. So, while weight can be a helpful indicator, don’t assume your daughter is not affected by an eating disorder just because she appears normal weight.
One area to look at is your child’s eating behavior. Does she eat very small amounts or a very limited variety of food? These both are warning signs that she is not eating normally. While many teenagers and college students prefer to eat with their friends, if your child consistently makes excuses to not eat with the family (e.g., “I already ate.” “I’ll eat later.”), then it may be a sign of eating issues. Also, if you notice your child hiding food, cutting food into extremely small pieces, or moving food repeatedly around on a plate, then you may begin to suspect an eating disorder. Finally, if your child consistently disappears to the bathroom after a meal it may be a sign that she is purging.
Many young women and men with eating disorders often hide their bodies by wearing many layers of clothes or clothing that is clearly too big. If your daughter always wears her coat even when it is a toasty seventy degrees inside, she may be experiencing negative body image and trying to hide her body. Frequently people with eating disorders will make remarks about “feeling fat” even when they are very clearly underweight. This is because cognitive changes occur with the eating disorder which prevents her from perceiving her body accurately.
The final symptom area involves dieting behaviors. While dieting is often frequently talked about in our culture, the type of dieting seen in someone with an eating disorder is more obsessive and driven. Your child may seem always preoccupied with food, counting calories, researching diets, or collecting recipes. Along with this, there is often obsessive or compulsive exercising. What is considered compulsive? If your daughter has to go to the gym every day without a day off, if she is there for long periods of time, if she continues to exercise when she is sick or injured, then it is likely she is a compulsive exerciser. Of course, any use of diet pills, laxatives, diuretics, or syrup of ipecac is cause for concern and a sign that your child may have an eating disorder.
Many parents are not aware that there are actually websites that provide eating disorder tips. These are called pro-Ana (for pro-Anorexia) and pro-Mia (for pro-Bulimia). These websites tend to praise the eating disorder as a “lifestyle” and provide information on how to get thinner or purge more easily. In addition, these websites promote hiding all eating disorder behaviors from parents and friends. If you notice your child looking at any of these websites, not only is it dangerous, but it is definitely a sign that your child is struggling with eating issues.
Now you have a sense of what eating disorder warning signs your child may be exhibiting. If you feel concerned, pay attention to your child over the next few days. If you only notice one or two of the warning signs, then it is often useful to take a “watch and see” approach for a few weeks to see if you notice any others. If your child has many of these warning signs, take a look at my article “What is the best way to approach my child if I think she has an eating disorder?”