It can be very hard to help your daughter seek eating disorder treatment when she doesn’t think she has a problem. Keep in mind that denial is a large part of the eating disorder. So, often times, young women (or men) with eating disorders truly don’t think that there is anything wrong with their behavior and wish that others would stop worrying about it.
You can help your daughter by being loving and supportive, but very consistent in your message that you are concerned and that she needs to be seen by a professional. If your child refuses to see a psychologist, start by going to your child’s medical doctor together as a starting point.
After that, you can help your child by doing the legwork to find a therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders. This often involves a lot of phone calls to find out who has openings and who may take your insurance. A child who is unsure about treatment will not be motivated to make this effort even if they are in college and otherwise independent.
Then, offer to go to the first therapy appointment with your daughter. It will provide a lot of comfort just having you sitting in the waiting room. Let your daughter know that it is important to you that she has a therapist with whom she feels comfortable. So she should view the first session or two as a chance to see if she likes this particular therapist’s style. Eating disorder treatment is going to require your daughter to trust her treatment provider, so it’s best to start off on the right foot with someone who feels like a good match. If no “chemistry” is evident after a couple of sessions, consider finding a new therapist.
If your child continues to refuse treatment, make an appointment for yourself with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders to get advice on next steps. Depending on your child’s age, you may be given different recommendations. For college age students, parents are sometimes advised to use going to treatment as a condition for continued college enrollment when all other strategies have failed.